Sunday, December 26, 2010

Day 1 of "Woe is Me!"

Obviously, I survived Day 1 of the "Shred", as I am here to tell you that it is hell on Earth. I was breathing heavy before the warm up was finished. I was calling myself 'stupid head' after 5 minutes. At 10 minutes, I was contemplating the idea of cursing. At 12 minutes, I did curse. 15 minutes in I wanted to stay laying on the floor and cry like a baby. And at minute 16, I think I did cry for nearly 5 seconds because that is all Jillian will allow. 5 seconds. At minute 19, I was dripping in sweat while attempting this thing called 'cool down'. And finally after 20 minutes of "woe is me"...I was done. I felt like I wanted to vomit. I was certain that parts of me were still jiggling and all I could think about was throwing myself in a snow bank. I did, however, wobble down the stairs, past my  husband who had a great look of concern holding the baby who inevitable wanted back into her momma's arms after only 20 minutes of being away and out the front door in hopes to find very cold temperatures. Somehow, after putting myself into the frozen tundra, I still felt everything down to my core, burning. Needless to say, it was possibly the worst 20 minutes of hardcore reality I have had to face in awhile. Dear World, I am weak. Forget all the talk about 'if I can give birth, I can do this'. I was wrong. I figured when people were saying that this 20 minute work out will change your life, I figured they never had to spend 20 minutes pushing a baby....out their 'mother'regions. (Sorry, gross, I know.) But! Since I have had this life changing experience, I am determined even more to follow through with this. Pain is weakness leaving the body, right? I also say that my rambling is fear leaving my mind. Sorry if these blogs seem like a whine session of some wannabe 'royal'. Today was probably not even a good day to start all of this. From the outside looking in, you might think I was trying to sabotage my own promise. I woke up at 7am, spent 2 hours in church, 5 hours cleaning, 1 hour eating lots of left overs from Christmas dinner, 2 hours napping and before you know it, it was after 7pm and I had to face the "Shred". Since doing the "Shred" 3 hours ago, I somehow managed to attain more energy to continue cleaning and have had no desire to eat...yet. I have this obsession with eating a small guilty meal after 9 that I have fought off doing for about 2 weeks now and I know that I will be further blessed for this effort. Anyways! What this is telling me, is if I manage my time and efforts a little bit better and do the "Shred" in the A.M.s, I could very well acquire more energy to use through out my day as I begin to chase my soon to be toddler. I also will proudly be the owner of my own craft/sewing room soon which is why all the cleaning today is the only day my husband has time to help move the heavy stuff. I am thrilled with this and thrilled with the idea that maybe all this working out and lifestyle changes will allow me to be the crafty person I also think I want to be. I may even start scrapbooking! BUT before that, my daughter wants to learn 'quilting'. Rambling, aren't we? So basically, I think I may have found some light at the end of this "woe is me" day. Tomorrow I may not be seeing the light when I have to wake up to the inability to move. Thankfully, I can come back to this place and remind myself that there is some light. So ever onward we go! After a warm bath and some silent reflection, I hope to kneel in prayer to my Father and ask for inner strength and outer healing. Might do us all some good.