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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Speaking of Chicken...

I wonder if anyone will read my blog. I wonder if anyone will be offended. I wonder if they mistake my sarcasm for seriousness if that would make them think wrongly of me. I wonder a lot of things. Mostly, I wonder if I will actually grab myself a big ol' drumstick or maybe a whole deli chicken and decide that being selfish for an hour a day is just not my thing and eat myself further into my couch. I told myself I wouldn't be one of those that holds on to their blog like it's some crazy form of therapy telling people your every thought and decision but here I am not even 12 hours after I posted my previous first attempt at blogging whining about something you probably don't care about. I woke up like any other day today and found myself narrating my life like some schitzo off meds. I stopped myself. Prayed a little and in that small moment of where I remembered to give gratitude to my Heavenly Father I realized the moment that I went from being overly religious to only being what some people in my life call part timing it. I realized in one of my tear filled hour long prayer seasons that I needed to just get up and ask my husband to take out the garbage. It was then I realized that most of my prayer time could be cut in half if I allowed myself to just ask my husband to do something. Like any other devoted family man he quickly took on the things I needed him to do to lighten my load. The moral of that story is that if you need to lighten your load we are taught to pray but actually I suggest asking your husband. Women can be so full of pride and at the end of the day we are just filled to the top with stress. If we let go of pride, the husband would do the dishes, and we would find time to feel pretty again. No amount of prayer to Heavenly Father is going to lighten your load if you don't first drop the pride. When I reread my first attempt at blogging, I realized that is exactly what I did (again). I dropped my pride, sounded borderline crazy, but felt amazing relief afterwards. I am not perfect and neither is my facade. I ramble badly. I always avoid the point. I don't like giving good advice when I know good advice needs to be given in fear that I may offend the 'good advice needing' party. I don't like to step on toes unless they are my own although I always manage to do what I don't like to do when it comes to my mouth. So why is it so hard to do something I don't like to do when it comes to my health? Quickly realizing this morning that I should not put off the dreaded 30 day shred any more than necessary. So I am setting the date for December 26th. Yes, it's a Sunday. You must remember that I am not overly religious. When you think of me, think 'part timer'. Unlike a lot of religious people, I am not sold on the concept of going to church every Sunday for my salvation. Rather, I am like a small group of religious people that believe that it's what we do daily that counts at the end of our Earthly days. I refuse to be the person that says 'as long as I go to church that makes me holy' and then the following day they are boozing it up behind closed doors or insulting their neighbors or un-friending their fellow church members on Facebook. I am the person that loves you everyday of the week and will shake your hand in Walmart just like you shake mine in church. I am the person that when there is nothing to do, will pick up some Gospel even if it's not Sunday afternoon or the all too often avid church goer cramming for their Sunday school lesson the night before. I am not that person. I don't believe in cramming all my religious acts in one day and calling it good. Rambling again, aren't I? Well back to the day, December 26. I picked that day because it's after Christmas, Rhondalynn will still be on break, Travis will be home...it'll be the perfect day to start my one hour a day separation from being a mother to being my own 'leading lady'. Big sister will be around for the first week to distract little sister from the fact that, yes, mom needs time too. All in all, a good start to a change of routine in my life. That is me being sarcastically positive, by the way. To start me on the better bigger journey in my life, I will, however, need to start drinking water water water...instead of the sugar loaded caffeinated beverages that have been getting me through the days. This adventure begins tomorrow. I am cutting myself down to 2 a day until my current supply is gone and then I will be switching to de-caf diet drinks only. Bring on the headaches! I know this will be good for me. I know this will be good for me. I know this will be good for me. Someone tell me this will be good for me? Someone? Well, that is all I got. So if you are one of those that is going on board with me. Mark your calendars. December 26th. DECEMBER 26th. (Am I really doing this? Where's the chicken?)

2 comments:

Martha J. Berryman said...

Love the new blog Steph! You'll be amazed at some of the little blessings that come from having something like this. I, on the other hand, am not a blogger but I've tried in the past. Soooo...yes I am on board with you. Funny thing is that I was just thinking about this last night. Inspiration? Yep. I was praying that I would find some inspiration and support some where and there you are. Thanks! :)

Stephanie Bartlett said...

I am thrilled to know that I am not alone. I was just thinking how my blog will probably go unnoticed (except by mom lol)...and lost in the echoes of cyber world but I wasn't going to let that stop me. The dialog in my mind is worth typing to me. I don't think this dialog was meant NOT to be shared. I hope to find enormous purpose!