Wednesday, March 9, 2011

(lack of) Pictures Say It All!

If you are a person who struggles with being comfortable in your own body, take a few minutes today and seek out all the pictures of yourself you can find. You may notice there is a serious lack of them or you may notice yourself getting sick seeing the person you have become. If you are me, you look at those pictures and ask yourself, am I seeing double? And if you are me, your answer was, yes, you are seeing double. Double the person I have ever wanted to become. Double chins that I never wanted to see on me. Double digit gains you never think you are capable of until it happens. The feeling of sadness will probably overcome you as you search into your photo trail. If you are me, it's more anger than sadness. Do you notice how unhappy you look? Do you notice that you quit taking care of yourself? The lack of makeup, trendy clothes, high heels, done up hair? Do you notice that when we aren't feeling good on the inside, these pictures are showing it on the outside? Or maybe if you are me, you don't see many pictures at all and the ones you do find, you are hiding behind your kids with serious amounts of make up plastered on. I look at those pictures and scream 'fake fake fake'. I wonder why we let ourselves get to that point. Wouldn't you think that once you seen a picture of yourself in an unkept state, you would want to get up and fix it? Instead, the photo trail grows bleak and filled with an unhappy person trying to live a happy life. Find yourself a picture of yourself at a weight you were comfortable with at a time you truly were happy in your skin and you will find a person smiling and laughing with washed hair and clear skin. Right there is your inspiration for moving forward. I don't care how far back you have to search or how long you got to work to find it, but for yourself and for your health, FIND IT! Keep that picture with you always and when you find yourself sliding away from the healthy life you know you should live, pull that picture out and remind yourself that you deserve to be that happy. You deserve to feel that beautiful. You deserve to feel desirable and accepted. I found hundreds of pictures of myself and I am arming myself with daily reminders of the person I am trying to find under all those unhealthy choices I have made. This week I caught a glimpse of her. You can be told a million times that you are beautiful and 'not fat' but no one can prepare you for the moment when you actually believe it for yourself. She hit me in the mirror right after a very heated 41 miles on my bike and she showed no mercy staring back at me and I realized that she and I are one person again. Together we are beautiful. Together we are going to conquer this body. Together we are going to make an appearance in life and it will show through our photo trail and I hope that one day my future will look back at these photos and sense a strong woman existing there. I want these photos and these memories to be a pillar of strength and love for the future.

 And somewhere behind all that unhappiness, I know you want it too! 
Go find yourself that photo and start inspiring yourself today.