I can do that? Seriously?

Wow. Time flies when you are busy! I don't even know when the last time I blogged was. I can't even remember what I blogged about. If you follow me on Facebook or MFP (again, if you haven't already, I suggest everyone to join My Fitness Pal), then you know that I started P90x 5 days ago. I also recently completed 9.6 miles running with no walking/no breaking in the rain. Yes, in the freaking rain. It was a cold, wet and lonely start and by the time I was finished I was still wet but instead of rain falling from the sky, I was drowning in my own sweat and wishing to feel some type of cool breeze which never came. I conquered myself that day. In fact, I set out to break my 8 mile wall. (If you don't know about a 'runner's wall'...it's the point at which you can no longer run but want to, pretty much.) I crushed that wall and with that run, I had decided that I was capable of doing more. I think this was my epiphany. I realized that day that I kept setting limits for myself sub-consciously. I kept telling myself that I can't do anything harder than Jillian. I can't lift anything more than 8 lb weights. I can. In the last 5 days, I've proven to myself that I can. I started P90x which I kept telling myself I wouldn't start until I was at goal weight. Well, goal weight was eluding me for too long as I was struggling with a 4 week weight plateau. I know from experience that when I plateau, it is time to eat more and switch up the routines. What better time to start! I took a few days off to enjoy the company of family that was visiting and as soon as my house was quiet, I took on P90x. In 5 days, it has changed me and the way I think of myself. I heard all the stories of how this was going to kick my ass. I got all the comments about how I should really wait until I could pass the fit test. I read all the experiences of people that couldn't complete it because it was just too hard. I was terrified. Not gonna lie. I was TERRIFIED! I watched the workouts every night before doing them the next morning and every night I would dream of pain and failure and wake up feeling defeated before I had even begun. Just as I have done previously, I took 5 minutes before every exercise and focused my energies on the muscles that I was about to work and cleared my mind of everything. From the moment I pushed play to the moment when I was finished, I gave it my all. I kept up to their reps. I used 10!!! lb weights and found that 10 was not enough for some of the exercises. After wasting all that energy being terrified, I was rocking these workouts. I mean, seriously, rocking these workouts. I can say that I am proud of the work I am doing. I can say that I can. I can. I can. AND! I will. I can't wait to share all my before and after pictures when I finish this program. I am doing so much lately that I never knew I was capable of. I am enjoying this new body and it's abilities. It's fun to wake up and wonder to yourself what will happen today that you couldn't do yesterday. I need to find a new balance. Yes, I love exercise. Yes, I love my family. Yes, I love love love so much. But lately, I haven't had the time to write and writing used to be my own personal mental therapy. I am going to struggle, I am sure, to find the time to make it happen. I just gotta! I can. I will. Don't be surprised if you see more posts from me in the near future. The beauty in this past week has been finding out that I am worth even more than I was prior to starting the new program. I don't get to run as much as I would like but at this point I am ready for a challenge and part of this challenge is sacrificing my love of running to get into even better shape to give my runs even more than I could before. Positive thoughts, keep them coming!!! I feel a good change coming on my horizon. I even managed to break my plateau where I am happily and currently at 148 lbs! Goal being 140 by the end of my 90 days. I got this!!!

The lesson here is this: Don't limit yourself. Make yourself do something new everyday. If you fail at first, don't assume that you will never be able to do whatever it is you are trying. Be sure to revisit prior challenges. It's the best way to see yourself progress. I've been so excited seeing everyone getting motivated and pushing themselves into a new lifestyle. I am here for all of you who are starting out. I got lots of opinions and advice and stories to keep you going and trying something new everyday. I am just one message away.